Layers of truth (and Truth)

Types of truth...

There's simply accurate, like 2+2=4 is simply accurate.

There's what I'm calling today "shallow truth," like a snap judgement or a rehearsed response. Something just kinda "snaps out" when you're asked to answer a question (such as "how do you feel today?" or "when person X does Y, how do you feel?"). Sometimes one speaks from one's own memory of ... whatever... but sometimes what you're really reacting to is not the specific question or moment, it's something that underlies the moment or question but that hasn't been processed yet.

Shallow truths are often clouded by emotions about other people or circumstances. You think you're talking about [whatever you think you're actually talking about], but actually, what's really bothering you is something different.

Deep Truth--yes, capitalized--is very simple. Three words, usually... "I feel [feeling]." And that's all. No "they," no "you," just "I."

Very powerful, Deep Truth is... and especially powerful in how liberating it can be.

You don't need to tell someone, like a pastor/priest/counselor. Nobody needs to hear you. (You can address such things to whatever spiritual being you like, depending on your own faith traditions and paths.) Actually speaking these Deep Truths is powerful, even if all you speak them to is the wind. But  what's key is that you "cop" to them. You really, really, just... admit them.

Sometimes you need to force yourself into (and thus out of) the corner, metaphorically... You can find yourself railing about "Damn it, They (whoever "they" is/are) did X and that was just WRONG!!!!" but then, you stop yourself; and you ask, "But how to YOU feel?" And here, "you" is actually "I," but a little separation, even if it's only metaphoric, sometimes helps.

But it's hugely liberating. "Person X did Y and that's just not fair, what's wrong with them?" That's not liberating. "Don't judge," as Rick of Rick and Morty often says. But if you come back to yourself, and force yourself to come clean with "Yes, but I feel... [whatever]," and you go really inside yourself to reach that Deep Truth... That is liberating.

So that's part of my internal struggle, nowadays. Sometimes, it's easy... and how do I feel about having to use this catheter to empty my bladder? I really like this catheter is about all I have on that particular topic. I truly don't think I'm imprisoned by my membership in the Cath Club. But I've still got chains wrapping my heart from my former employer. When I can really drill down to the "I feel...[specific feeling]" level, I can feel the chains unwrapping. I actually felt some major back muscles relax and the way I was sitting up completely change, my Heart not only spiritually opened, but my chest opened and let the Heart breathe, metaphorically speaking.

This is all part of the Witness; being truthful, Deeply Truthful, to and with one's self. To cop to what your process actually is.

A good thing indeed, MS or not, the Witness.

But yeah, Deep Truths. They have power. And, as the Good Book says, the Truth will set you free. And good book or not...

It will.