Everything

DAMN, I am cold. Imagine being cold, you throw a blanket over yourself. It doesn't work--you're still cold. Toss on another one. You're still cold. Repeat... both "toss on another one" and "you're still  cold."

I'm not really comfortable unless the heater is knocking on high 70's, maybe 80.

At which point, the world gets too hot.

I can't win.

I am, though, beginning to make new discoveries... I almost never feel "hungry," but I think I'm starting to get a grip on "empty...too empty."

I'm starting to work on "eat something during the day." And to do it LONG before I get to the "oh dear, I think being empty for too long is creating problems..."

I was going to lapse philosophical, maybe even quote Ram Dass...

And then... the coughing started.

Me and coughing can be kinda violent. I start hacking violently, not barfy-nasty kinda violent but definitely violent... the keyboard I leave on my lap when I'm doing things such as this flies away, because my entire body spazzes and my knees fly up (hence, knocking things out of my lap), my eyes tear up and my nose runs, and I cough and cough and cough and cough and cough and... this goes on for minutes.

MINUTES.

Eventually, the coughing stops (it has so far, thank God), but now I can't speak. Someone asks whether I need any help, and all I can do is shake my head -- if the coughing has stopped enough -- and a few minutes later, everything calms down. Except I still can't speak.

What's setting this off? Tiny particulate matter... a crumb, a chip of pepper. A slightly overly-zingy bit of juice.

Today, it was pizza that set me off. Amy's, I believe, they do flavorful non-dairy stuff. The crust is delightfully crisp. Except for the "particulate matter makes me cough" part.

This is another reason I shy away from eating... if it doesn't tweak my tummy, it karks out my throat and I spend way way too long coughing and coughing and...

Let's not even get into the "light lung mucus" thing. Which, fortunately, happens infrequently but is not as hideous. Unless I'm lying down when it hits, in which case I can't move it and it's more and more coughing. But at least, when I can clear it, it clears reasonably quickly. But still my legs go spazzy, not always as badly.

But the "eat and cough" experience is one of the thing that keep me away from eating. If the questionable tummy wasn't enough... (One of the reasons I so rarely ask to be taken out for dinner, nowadays. Simply being in a moving car can set off the "unhappy tummy" problem.)

Great. I finally decide to eat something, and it sends me into coughing fits because of a flake of pepper.

And as I'm typing, there goes the coughing again...

He adds, several minutes later.

Everything has a price, it seems...

Everything.