... different.

More discoveries, about my own process...

You know what I miss?

Cooking. We've talked about this before, something that takes standing at the cutting board and the work-zone and the stove, especially for high-intervention cooking like wok cooking. And we've not discussed the "outdoor" cooking zone, at my camp stove that runs something like 10K BTU, significantly higher than the indoor stove and much better for wok cooking. Using that involves carrying all the stuff outside, then cooking outside, then carrying the stuff back in. Right now, at least, can't do that.

And here's the big surprise... I miss cleaning. Yes, cleaning. Standing at the sink to wash dishes... Putting clean dishes away. Much as I've griped about "dishes" over the years, I miss being able to clean them. Anything that involves "standing" risks turning my legs to rubber or falling over (or both), or starting to fall over and having to grab something, anything, to stop the fall. Which means maybe dropping breakable things. Or the knife that's sharp enough to do serious damage if it falls on my foot. And as challenging as controlling a collapse-fall is, getting up off the ground is, nowadays, one of the most difficult things to do. I know... I've tried it. And damn, it's hard.

Carrying anything anywhere, like a pile of dirty clothes or even clean clothes. It's hard enough to carry a half-full tea cup while I'm huge-air-quotes "walking," I rarely fill the cup more than half full because I don't want to spill anything while I'm lurching or tottering, which happens all too frequently.

Perhaps the vacuum will actually act like a crutch/cane, helping me to stand... or perhaps it will facilitate falling over, since it is after all on wheels rather than designed not to slide over the floor while you're leaning on it. But straightening up the room, getting stuff off the floor so everything's nice and clear of the vacuum? Now we're back to carrying/lurching/tottering/falling over, and when we're in that world we're in the world of grabbing stuff out of desperation and accidentally pulling stuff over (e.g., the TV that I pulled over onto myself and cracked a rib in the process), which puts more stuff on the floor, and now the problem is worse.

And reading stuff about "easy ways to spiff up your home"? What I'm wondering now is whether it's time to start thinking about having a bathroom completely redone to remove a bathtub (which is almost too hard for me to step into and out of, safely--if at all) and add "grab rails" and convert today's tub into a shower-while-seated facility. Right now, I'm hanging hopes on physical therapy, and the variability of the M.S. journey... hopefully, this is a bad-walking time which, just as it arrived without warning, may also leave without warning. You never know. I'm "functional" right now, and yes that's large-air-quotes "functional."

But, of all the odd things to miss... cleaning. Go figure.

As with all things on the Neurological Highway, the Apple mantra "Think different" is called upon, to create "Do different." The Science of Mind folks would say, "Thoughts become things." So, if you think different, things become different.

So, I guess to combine all of these, we come to... "Live different."

Which is what all of us, MS or not, are called upon to do, aren't we?