Meanings of "normal"

And there we go. Page go away now. I have no idea why. let's try again. And so we try again...

And that's MS for you. Stuff you used to do goes away. For no purpose. Why? Who knows? Of as Tolkein often wrote, who can say?

Wish I had more to tell you besides "Life ain't so much fun."

Not today.

Because, today, life ain't so much fun.

It happens pretty much constantly.

Is that my new "normal?"

Who can say?

Which is, in a word, life.

And that's definitely normal. Right?

The essence of...

Thought it was time to check in.

Hung out with a Yale '82 friend who whisked though my area. We had a delightful time! Challenges followed The Camera as various of us tried for pictures... When the pix find their way to me, I'll send 'em along.

One of two MS Issues... my pal noticed that one eye liked to wander around and point in different directions. Nothing new, alas... and the other one was "don't stay too long in the heat, idiot,' and well, you can guess the rest.

Even unacceorized like me, he agreed that the one thing that could/should be said of Yale was the single word: Stairs.

Sigh...

Well, this AM, I thought of a fun musical thing to do!

The number of times my eyes and fingers have been flailing, and spazzing, the number of times I.ve made and then tried to correct and maybe could but then couldn't (see above, there's a period where a comma should be in the previous sentence), when you're trying to get music right for 100 people playing in how many keys... Little errors are huge.

I'll try to poke at it. One right measure. That's a start!

Well, when you used to type 100 WPM, one measure doesn't seem like much. This is a huge part of the MS Journey, very much like the basic Life Journey. Things change, because I change. My own homework is to get out of my own way.

Thus may it befall to all of us!

Get out of your own way.

Is this not the essence of well... Life?

Strange gifts continue

So, here I am at home, and something keeps coming up...

I still haven't let go of my old high school/employer. I'm still, in a word, pissed.

Casting them free equals casting myself free. Let go and let God, all that. But when things are built as wheelchair-unfriendly, letting God re-architect things doesn't happen fast, if at all.

Wheelchairs are off things, to be stuck in, and pushing yourself up ramps, especially wheelchair ramps that suck as push-up-able, is challenging at best.

So, what do I do now?

Enjoy my own back-of-the-house garden. Enjoy the sky. Pet the cat. Talk to those who wish to talk. Enjoy hearing about my wife's adventures as a voice actor, at which she is supeb.

Lie in bed. Sleep. Enjoy tea. Do the bathroom-transfer.

When life is good, life is good.

Enjoy what you can, yes?

Yet...

The gifts seem to be evaporating... I may yet come to "or are they" but I ain't there yet,

I have lost a lot of stuff, all in the "doing" world. I used to be a high-school teacher. Changed lives, at least I like to think. But that was taken, by whom or what does not matter at the moment. State of California decided that I shouldn't have my driver's license renewed, I know not why to this day. Insurance company wouldn't renew me, since I had no D/L. So I can't drive... Truck's gone. I don't leave the house because I can't transfer from chair to car and back. Without almost hitting the ground, which is what happened when I last tried to go to a doctor's office. So I don't leave the house for, well, anything.

I used to be a pretty-much constant composer for all sorts of stuff. Not any more. I can't see, I can't control my hands, I don't like sitting up at the computer like I am at this very moment, for example. I used to compose all sorts of stuff. Such as this. Not any more.

I know there are unexplored gifts. Undiscovered gifts. I know they're there. I'm not sure what they are...

Yet.